One room existence
These four walls are normally your sleeping place, only spent hours in which your eyes are closed, and your body rested. Now it is a space for sleeping, eating, working,talking, lying, writing, thinking, learning, hiding, exercising, reading,watching, listening, creating. These four walls are a microcosm for the life we used to live, crushed and crammed into a space unexpected of so many experiences of life and lonely, for want of communication pure and real,interactions of hope and familiarity. This four-walled world informs us of capacity for wonder, for peace, for hope and for our strength that outweighs the overwhelming and sensationalist negativity that extends our daily lives.For the moment, these walls are all we have, the physical strength to support us, and warmth to comfort us, and the safety to protect us, we must strive to contain within this the hope we have for our lives, we may feel as if we want to burst from through the walls, imploding for want of an end, but peace will carry us through. The doorway and window interfere with the four walls and are the thresholds, the former to the outside, which is fresh and bright, are presentation of a fearful freedom. In the outside world now half of society looks at itself with disgust and anger, half comes together as a community grateful for one another. These complexities in part occur from the forced yet distanced interactions, unnatural and stoic, the negative glances are balanced by the laughter and over the fence passing of beer and hopeful chitchat that encounters our everyday lives. The latter makes way to a corridor presented as a transitory space not for freedom but for change. Change seems to be the want we all crave, a different view, a new conversation or activity, and yet were turn, time and time again to the four walls that protect us and keep us safe.
Lack of routine and repetition of endlessness melts hours into days into weeks. It is impossible to separate day one from day thirty-five, time contains merely enough significance to worthy a glance at a clock or flicking on the screen of your phone. This space equates to hours full of nothing, and almost nothing and sometimes, not nothing but something. Something is better than nothing, but these four walls witness it all as it melts together into memories not worth remembering. These days will not be remembered for their individual magic, unlike those exceptional days when from start to finish you feel invisible, days of happiness and hope and optimism and friendship and family. Those are privileged days. Cut against these are those you cannot wait to end, when sinking into bed is the best you have felt all day because it feels as if every inch of the world wants to spite you. These days are two of a spectrum of experiences the inevitability of life presents to you. These feel long forgotten now. This melting pot of emotion that results from a one room existence spits out a constant day, one that is level,equal and repetitive and dull and is inseparable from every other day.Repeating moments and meals and conversations dictates this inability to separate times of happiness and of sadness, of joy and despair. Resulting is a block of memory, unwanted yet unescapable, that points to time spent within those four walls.
With time dictating little, days lack any purpose at all, speeding towards an unknown end, whereas the nights are endless. Endless enough to spend hours wishing for peace and certainty that no one, not even the constant four walls could provide for us.When sleep does find us, it is a time for momentary freedom, in which we awake to a new day with a little less, or a little more hope than the previous. The opportunity of gazing from your window reflects how these walls protect us,from sun and rain, wind and dreary, cloudy days. For some reason however, the rain this time brings a new nostalgia, normally experienced by running from it or through it, avoiding it and sheltering within our four walls. When viewed from the inside out, however, the rain brings hope, hope for new life in the plants and trees it will nourish, reflected in the opportunity for change. This change presents a freedom for the feeling we are stuck within these four walls, rain brings a welcomed cathartic break from the constant every day. These spring showers dedicate to us the notion of life that is continued to be living, life continues even though we are not moving with the normal speed at which we tend to focus. These clouds bring much more than negative connotations they used to,the darkness is comforting, the sound of the rain is peaceful to our ears tired of intaking constant negativity. The trees are greener now and the plants are less limp, beneath the surface of the earth life continues, we may be stuck within our four walls, but those windows of escapism provide a moment to glance at the world still available to us. We will realise that rain is a gift welcomed at the most unexpected of times, and when the sun does return it will also be welcomed, perhaps when we are free from those four walls that have kept us safe.